I Am Nowhere But Here

Hazy yellow floats onto my hands, my desk, my coffee.  A ray of sunshine collides with the steam swirling from my coffee cup.    The traffic is light outside my window, creating a sense of calm I don’t normally feel in the mornings.  The distance between each car rolling by unveils the secret that there really are birds that sing in the city.  I love this morning.  Everything in me is level.  Peace-filled, even, controlled, calm.  I am nowhere but here.

I am stirred.  I am listening.  Most mornings I am not listening because I am doing.  Doing and worrying.  Most mornings I am busy and unleveled.  Fast and unpeaceful, talking and not listening, deciding and not waiting.  But today is different.  Waking up before I have to be anywhere, early enough to brew coffee and read the bible and journal.  There is so much to be gained from this small moment in which I am listening and waiting.  I am fully awakened to something.

In each sip, I taste my affections for the only one I was made to feel affections for.  In each still pocket of stopped traffic, they grow.  This desire of my heart would be clouded if I were sleeping in.  It would be forgotten if I pressed my snooze button.  I am eternally grateful for this moment to feel faint before my creator.  To feel swept away into His presence.  Because normally, I am swept away FROM His presence because of my anxious and jump-started mornings, but not today.  Today, He has given me ears to hear His peace.  I am clothed in the presence of God.

Today, this is the only feeling I want to feel.  Total peace amidst circumstances.  I want this perspective to glue to my mind.  This total trust in God, total joy in God, and total surrender  to God.  Total belief that Jesus is the perfect man who lived and died in my place and gave me this freedom from shame and sin, this cup that no longer measures my iniquities, but overflows with grace.

I want to hear God speaking to me today.  I want to listen to anything new He might show me.

This morning, God showed me Psalm 103 (written by David who is in love with God’s mercy, which He has longed to receive because of all of his sin.  His soul rejoices on the Lord because the Lord has removed his iniquities)

This is my song of hope and joy for the day…

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like f the eagle’s.

The Lord works  righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us m according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For  as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like  a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and  its place knows it no more.

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Bless the Lord, O you  his angels,
you  mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the Lord, all his  hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Ok.  Time to shower.  And begin this day with a listening heart surrendered to God.

I think I like not pressing my snooze button.