Whew. Laundry put away. Best feeling ever. Sitting here with a glass of water, taking advantage of this hour on Huron Blvd. before the traffic will start to get nuts. Nick and I just got home from everywhere… if that makes sense. On May 23rd, we left at 5am to caravan with about 50 college students to Myrtle Beach, SC. We were there for two weeks, then headed up the east coast to visit some friends and family along our way home in DC and NYC. After our mini-road trip, we are home in Minneapolis!
Throughout the past month, I have felt the Lord prodding me to ask him for very specific things, to trust him to give very specific things. Being at the Summer Training Project with students was in two words: Refreshing & Awakening. I went to a project as a student four years ago, and it was really sweet to be back there over the past few weeks and reflect on the Lord’s incredible faithfulness to me in that time. There were situations and sin in my life four years ago that I thought would always hold me captive… and four years later seeing God redeem what I thought I was enslaved to forever…seeing him flood his healing love all over me… such a sweet reminder that I am cleansed pure by his blood. It was awakening to the reality of the gospel and the reality of my need for it.
The whole two weeks prodded my heart to pray. Seeing God’s tangible faithfulness encouraged me to consider that this summer is not just a season to rest, but it’s a season to ask God to do very specific things in my heart. As I’ve been pondering… (I may be the president of that)… I have decided to claim this verse for my summer and pray that the Lord would bear these fruits within me. Psalm 62:1-2 “For God alone my soul waits in silence, from him only comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” Knowing that circumstances in my life will always be changing, my feelings will always be changing, relationships will always be changing… it bids me to pray for the grace to fix my eyes upon the unchangeable God that I have. The ‘I shall not be greatly shaken’ part pierces me. I am shaken so often, but have already seen the Lord be faithful to me over the past month to bring a constant reminder that he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow… and even though that sounds so simple- its transformed the way I think about my life. We listened to a Tim Keller sermon on Hope from Eph. 1:15-23 and he said something that gripped me, “The way you live your life now is entirely based upon what you believe your future will be.” It made me think, the way I REACT to my life now reveals that I often live without a fixation on eternity. I live like the best things are now… when the truth is that death for the believer means entering into the fullness of all pleasures forevermore! If I believed that, I think that my reactions to all of the ch..ch..changing going on around me would be characterized by something more like…contentment, joy, assurance of the greatest pleasures yet to come… Like I said, the past few weeks have been so awakening to reality!
Nick and I (along with our students and staff team) are studying through Philippians this summer. I don’t know how God has done this considering my struggle with consistency, but he’s woken me up each morning in the past month to go through about 2 verses a day… and its been so small but so rich! I’ve really enjoyed God speaking so directly to my heart in it (which I often don’t believe he can do). Philippians 1:27- 28 says “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that weather I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.” After browsing through my Matthew Henry commentary (which I highly recommend!)… I was wondering… what is a manner of life worthy of the gospel? Henry’s observations included that a Christian life should include: 1.conversations about the gospel 2. Belief in gospel truths 3. Submission to gospel laws 4. Dependency upon gospel promises 5. Faith, holiness, and comfort.
After reading on, I felt pressed by the phrase ‘striving side by side.’ Not even the call to strive, but the greater reality that the faith of the gospel is WORTH striving for. I observed that Paul exhorted the believers to strive SIDE BY SIDE… there is a closeness of life that is to be shared among believers…
So it prompted me to pray with joy and expectancy that God would transform me into a woman who:
Believes gospel truths. Submits to gospel laws. Depends upon gospel promises. Strives side by side with others for the sake of the gospel.
I know I’m standing in square one as I pray…but that’s ok I’m learning. Its ok to come back to square one over and over again as a believer… in fact, I think that’s a part of learning my dependency upon the sufficiency of Christ.
David sings in Psalm 63:5 “My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips.” Interesting that he sings ‘my soul WILL be satisfied…’ I am learning so much from his expectant heart.
I could not be more eager for this summer. I already feel a deeper awareness of so many areas in me that need refining… but there is already a deep feeling of the sweetness of Jesus in it all. His compassion, merciful heart and encouragement to me have been…just… so stinkin’ sweet.
Resting in his love,
Katie 