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John 15:2 says “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary… can you believe it? It has been two of the sweetest, refining and sharpening years the Lord has given me. So much in me has come to the surface… so much in me has been reevaluated, pondered, repented of and… changed. I have such a tender-hearted and sweet husband! He has spoken such encouraging and wise words to me over the years.
I know that might sound funny, but the definition of ‘prune’ is so comparable to being a believer. Prune 2: trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth. Its exactly what God’s been doing in me. At first glance… that’s not a pretty picture. But that’s not where God has stopped. His pruning is freedom-causing. Love- causing.
He gently cuts away dead or overgrown branches or stems, all for what? To increase fruitfulness and growth. It would be painful without the life, death and resurrection of Jesus given on our behalf or the promise that “we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18 )
I have just been massively hit with the realness of God’s faithfulness to me in this season. After these years of wrestling with the Lord through loads of insecurity, fear, and doubt… Something in me has…changed. Something that is so tangibly not of me.
There’s something about David’s songs in the Psalms that displays that God has proved something to Him. David is so stinkin’ expectant of grace. “As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!” (Psalm 40:11 ) After the past few years, my heart has grown so expectant of this grace because its been proved over and over.
I wanted to share a few verses full of truths that I have prayed would transform me throughout the past 2 years, often through tears, knowing God was faithful, but not yet seeing him bear these fruits in my life. Anyone know what I mean in that?
Col 4:6
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Ps. 62:1-2
“For God ALONE my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. 2 He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.”
Gal 5: 22
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”
Psalm 119:133
“Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.”
Psalm 120:2
“Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.”
James 1:19
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”
Psalm 63: 8
“My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”
In my first year of marriage, I asked Nick to pray these verses for me. and I’ve been fervently asking the Lord to transform me by the reneal of my mind with these specific truths because, in all honesty my mind was a product of believing lies. It was a diseased place that needed healing, restoration, and years of meditating on things that are TRUE.
God wasn’t lying about his faithfulness. The Word I have prayed has returned to me with fruit of His spirit. I’m finally experiencing true freedom from places of bondage. He’s proven so much to me of his character. “What I could not earn, Jesus earned, what I could not defeat, Jesus defeated, what I could not bear, Jesus bore. He is my solitary hope.” (-Paul Tripp- I echo him deeply!)” I am not greatly shaken. I am at peace more often. I am slower to anger. I rest more. When I fear, I am reminded that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. And I’m alright.
I’m convinced that we are called into seasons for very specific purposes that God has planned to use in the advancement of His kingdom. I could tell sweet stories of how he’s used the past years for His glory. After these past few years, I feel like I am…a newly blooming flower. I feel the breeze blow against new skin… with a new mind, a new freedom, a lighter heart, a greater awareness of sin and what an incredible savior and father I have, a deeper freedom to fail, a deeper trust that I am secure in Him. Everything in my life is different. I’m so caught up in Christ’s love for me and his work he has set out for me to do, I’m not dwelling in my past or failures…instead He’s causing me to “forget what lies behind, and strain forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:13-14) And, just like all flowers, I will continue to die and re-bloom. I only know Him a little bit, but I am intimately acquainted with His faithfulness and steadfast love to a weak woman- its changing everything.
So… for the big 2 year celebration, of course Nick went all out. He surprised me and took me to a B&B on Lake Peppin! We stood in awe of God’s steady work in transforming us. We sat by the lake in silence. We stared into creation… and not only proclaimed, but believed and evidenced that His faithfulness is real. “…The old has passed away; Behold, the new has come!” (2. cor 5:17). I am overcome by what God promised: “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”
I’m expecting so many more seasons of pruning, but its fruit-bearing and growth-causing. Its worth every season marked by suffering.
Praying for strength for those of you walking through really hard seasons right now… there is a deep joy in not knowing its purpose… but years later seeing His steadfast love and how He never left you in it. How He’s advancing His kingdom through it.
Can you relate to me in this? Sometimes I’m having a sweet season with the Lord, I see the value of coming and depending on him even when I’m not tangibly in need… I’m given the blessing of consitency… but then I have a morning like this: I will reach for my bible, journal and pen, go to my little haven (a.k.a. my big white chair) and sit there looking out my window. Then, I’ll remember I need to start the laundry so it gets finished in time for… then I get a text which reminds me I need to send that email… then I remember I need to take out chicken from the freezer so it will be ready in time for dinner… don’t judge if this is not your struggle 
I think it is a common theme for the believer to come to the Lord as a last resort. Its so common to arrange our lives around things that seem important, around needs that seem most tangible. Even in desperate circumstances, it’s easy to exert every amount of human effort to change a circumstance before it dawns on us to pray… at least I see this pattern in my own life.
I read this story of the woman in the crowd in Mark chapter 5 through new eyes today and felt pressed to post about it. Its worth a read, if you have a quick moment!
“And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.” And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” (Mark 5:25-34 ESV)
Can you see yourself in this woman? For years, she has gone to different physicians to cure her disease. When they all seemed to make her well, they actually made her worse. It says “She spent all that she had.”
Something really sweet is happening in a dear friend of mine’s life from high school, whom I haven’t talked to all through college, Sara! We met up at Starbucks and caught up on our lives and our college experiences. To see her courage to be so raw and honest about her life was a huge refreshment. In her own words she said, “I just feel like I’ve tried everything, but nothing is satisfying anymore. I’m 26, and I just can’t keep living my life this way.” It wasn’t long before my eyes welled up with tears after we talked about Jesus for a while, which I’m sure always looks weird to people on the first coffee date But to see someone reaching out in the chaos of their life, someone reaching out for the garment of Jesus, to be healed by him… As I listened to Sara, I knew exactly how she felt. And I know that there is something about that feeling that is TRUE. Her hunger reminds me of my hunger when I felt the same way my junior year of college. She’s already come to church and is joining a small group to have other women in her life!
It makes sense that we run and literally hunt down every other form of refuge because we’ve never known Jesus as a refuge. When we live in a world that promises us lies, that deceives us by making things look true that aren’t… we don’t believe that he could truly be an escape, a green pasture to come and rest in until we cast ourselves upon him. Even as a last resort, he proves faithful!
Anyone else drawn by the way the woman with the disease believes finally after 12 years of trying everything else? Her made up mind that he could heal… “If I just touch his garments, I will be made well.” What gets me about this story is that in her sickly condition (she was constantly bleeding) she runs out into the crowd where people are trampling and swarming Jesus just to see if she might be able to touch even just a sliver of his clothing. I love how her desperation moves her directly past all of the failed physicians, past all of the crowd and directly to the true healer.
And she touched his clothing, and she was immediately healed. But notice he doesn’t just say she is physically healed… its her faith that makes her well. In all of the accounts of Jesus healing people, he seems to have such compassion on their physical state of suffering, yet its not ultimately their suffering that causes him to heal them. Its because they trusted him, they believed in him and acted on that belief by calling out to him… and we read Jesus commend their faith, that their faith healed them… ultimately their souls.
I am learning a lot in this season about a similar pattern in my own heart and life. I am coming out of a lot of years of running to everything else to heal me, but by the grace of God learning to be like this woman! Learning to go directly to the only true healer. Learning to run past everything to go directly to Jesus. I find myself wondering… how long had that woman heard of Jesus before she believed he could really heal? When Jesus says, “Who touched me?” wouldn’t it have been so easy for Jesus to tell her all about the times she ignored him, for him to remind her of her sickness and all of the money she had spent thinking that people or other things could heal her. Wouldn’t it be just like the heart of man to make that woman feel guilty and ashamed?” That’s why I love Jesus. He does not have the heart of man. He has the heart of God. Forgiving, taking pleasure in her as she “fell down before him and told him the whole truth.”… waiting to be her father.
(Huge sigh). This gets me. This messes me up. Instead, he calls her “Daughter!” He says, “Your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your disease.”
There is so much evidence for us to believe that “…God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” (John 3:17)
Because God speaks for himself, I will leave this post at that.
One of the reasons I love summer is that my dear friend Jen, who is a teacher, has the summer off! Which means we get to hang out, which of course, makes me very… happy
We cut down hydrangeas from her garden, talked heart to heart, and took a trip to Crafty Planet, where I made my first fabric purchase! She taught me to make a cute little bag to use in my bathroom to help me get organized. I completed my first bag! Two more to go… then I will be revamping my entire bathroom closet, which… is… a distaster, friends. I’m convinced having really cute bags to organize some of my bathroom stuff in will motivate me to stay more organized in there. My brother, Ben, made fun of us and called us “Grannies” for spending a day sewing together. But he’s right. We become Grandma’s together when we hang out. But in my book, Grandma’s are the sweetest thing ever… and I admire people as crafty as Jen. Her crafts and sewing blow me away! And my Bro doesn’t realize he wouldn’t still be sleeping with his “football blankie” if it weren’t for our Grandma Jane and her long hours of crafty love.
I’m also stopping by Passionate Homemaking blog to find out items I don’t need to have in my bathroom. I think I really need some help adopting the truth that “less is more…” Seems like the bathroom closet is full of stuff I never use. It just… collects. stuff.
Jen preparing to cut the very cute fabric
Check out the polka-dot interior! Cute, huh?
I was so refreshed by Jen and was able to get her counsel and advice regarding some decisions I am walking through. I am so blessed to have so many friends like Jen, who care and love me and offer me truth. Jen and I also dreamed about her new blog she is feeling led to begin! She has an incredible collection of poetry and collection of cute things she sews- everything from little bags, purses, kitchen aprons, and fun hair accessories. Very soon, you will be able to stop by and read her beautiful poems and even get some tutorials on how to sew very cute things. I am convinced you’ll be blessed by her sharing her gifts and talents through it. I’ll let you know when its up and running! And when my closet gets organized! Hope you have a happy 4th of July!
