Growing and Changing

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John 15:2 says “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary… can you believe it?  It has been two of the sweetest, refining and sharpening years the Lord has given me.  So much in me has come to the surface… so much in me has been reevaluated, pondered, repented of and… changed.  I have such a tender-hearted and sweet husband!  He has spoken such encouraging and wise words to me over the years.

I know that might sound funny, but the definition of ‘prune’ is so comparable to being a believer.  Prune ²: trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth. Its exactly what God’s been doing in me.  At first glance… that’s not a pretty picture.   But that’s not where God has stopped.  His pruning is freedom-causing.  Love- causing.

He gently cuts away dead or overgrown branches or stems, all for what? To increase fruitfulness and growth.  It would be painful without the life, death and resurrection of Jesus given on our behalf or the promise that “we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18 )

I have just been massively hit with the realness of God’s faithfulness to me in this season.  After these years of wrestling with the Lord through loads of insecurity, fear, and doubt… Something in me has…changed.  Something that is so tangibly not of me.  

There’s something about David’s songs in the Psalms that displays that God has proved something to Him.  David is so stinkin’ expectant of grace. “As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!” (Psalm 40:11 ) After the past few years, my heart has grown so expectant of this grace because its been proved over and over.

I wanted to share a few verses full of truths that I have prayed would transform me throughout the past 2 years, often through tears, knowing God was faithful, but not yet seeing him bear these fruits in my life.  Anyone know what I mean in that?

Col 4:6
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Ps. 62:1-2
“For God ALONE my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. 2 He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.”

Gal 5: 22
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”

Psalm 119:133
“Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.”

Psalm 120:2
“Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.”

James 1:19
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”

Psalm 63: 8
“My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

In my first year of marriage, I asked Nick to pray these verses for me. and I’ve been fervently asking the Lord to transform me by the reneal of my mind with these specific truths because, in all honesty my mind was a product of believing lies.  It was a diseased place that needed healing, restoration, and years of meditating on things that are TRUE.

God wasn’t lying about his faithfulness.  The Word I have prayed has returned to me with fruit of His spirit.  I’m finally experiencing true freedom from places of bondage.  He’s proven so much to me of his character.   “What I could not earn, Jesus earned, what I could not defeat, Jesus defeated, what I could not bear, Jesus bore. He is my solitary hope.” (-Paul Tripp- I echo him deeply!)” I am not greatly shaken.  I am at peace more often.  I am slower to anger.  I rest more.  When I fear, I am reminded that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.  And I’m alright.

I’m convinced that we are called into seasons for very specific purposes that God has planned to use in the advancement of His kingdom.  I could tell sweet stories of how he’s used the past years for His glory.  After these past few years, I feel like I am…a newly blooming flower. I feel the breeze blow against new skin… with a new mind, a new freedom, a lighter heart, a greater awareness of sin and what an incredible savior and father I have, a deeper freedom to fail, a deeper trust that I am secure in Him.  Everything in my life is different.  I’m so caught up in Christ’s love for me and his work he has set out for me to do, I’m not dwelling in my past or  failures…instead He’s causing me to “forget what lies behind, and strain forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:13-14) And, just like all flowers, I will continue to die and re-bloom.  I only know Him a little bit, but I am intimately acquainted with His faithfulness and steadfast love to a weak woman- its changing everything.

So… for the big 2 year celebration, of course Nick went all out.  He surprised me and took me to a B&B on Lake Peppin!  We stood in awe of God’s steady work in transforming us.   We sat by the lake in silence.   We stared into creation… and not only proclaimed, but believed and evidenced that His faithfulness is real.  “…The old has passed away; Behold, the new has come!” (2. cor 5:17). I am overcome by what God promised: “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

I’m expecting so many more seasons of pruning, but its fruit-bearing and growth-causing.  Its worth every season marked by suffering.

Praying for strength for those of you walking through really hard seasons right now… there is a deep joy in not knowing its purpose… but years later seeing His steadfast love and how He never left you in it.  How He’s advancing His kingdom through it.