Have you ever worried endlessly about something and looked back and thought: How silly!  What a waste of energy spent worrying when it all worked out. I, for one, can recount a lot of those moments.  As a single woman, I worried if I would ever get married.  I worried anxiously who “the one” would be.  When I graduated college, I feared if I would get a job.  Would I perform well enough at it?  As a new wife, new fears entered my heart that I hadn’t experienced before.  When I think about the potential of becoming a mother someday- a mother to children with eternal souls- the loads of fear, inadequacy and insecurity are already creeping their way into my mind and heart.  So here I am with this daily temptation to fear.

God’s intention was never that we fear. He doesn’t want his children to live in fear. That’s why His voice in the bible is so incredibly full of personal friendship, assurance, comfort, affection, and love.  I am exhorted in 1 Peter 3:6: “do not fear anything that is frightening.”  Scripture admits that there are things that are frightening; there are things in life that cause us to be afraid.  So why would God call me not to fear?  It has nothing to do with following a command and everything to do with believing that God is a caring father, a provider, and oddly enough- a huge planner- and that I, one small life, am included in His plans.  The part that seems to continuously be difficult for me is that I’m not in control.  And yet at the same time, all of the things I’ve tried to control on my own have only broken my heart and turned into a big mess.

I’m noticing a pattern in my thought life.   What do your thoughts default to when you’re not doing anything?  Most often every thought of mine revolves around what people think of me in one form or another… Am I thin enough?  Do I have a good personality?  Do people like me?  What did so & so think when I said/did that? Do I sound obsessed with myself?  Well… I confess… I am.   Inside of me is this desperate search for acceptance, validation, and sense of worth.  These thoughts reveal that I have an incredible obsession with myself and a lack of fixation on the person of Jesus Christ and what he did for me.  What he has done for me should deliver me from such a self-consumed thought life.  But how often am I reminding myself of what Christ has done for me?  How easy it is to read the bible and pursue knowledge, yet forget the LOVE of Christ that SURPASSES knowledge.  Its his LOVE that transforms us.  My thoughts would reveal that I’m very good at going through actions and daily life, but hugely insufficient in reminding myself of the beauty of the gospel.  This may sound counter-productive…but… I do have control over my thought life.  There ARE things I can do to help what I’m thinking about.

In my self obsessive thoughts, worries and fears, I am offending God because: I don’t trust Him.   I’m not trusting that the life of Jesus was sufficient for my life full of sin.  That His death on the cross justified me, so I am freed from looking to my own performance to give me a sense of self-worth.  In not trusting Him, I say to God that I don’t really believe He is ‘merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness’ (Psalm 86:15).   I call Him a liar.   But the very thing about God is that- He is not a liar, not even an bit.  Everything he’s promised has come true, everything He says is real and He is not deceitful.  Here are countless scriptures that promise God’s fatherly care and wise, sovereign planning in my life:

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Ephesians 2:10

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Psalm 33:11

“The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations.”

Proverbs 16:3

“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Isaiah 25:1

“O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure.”

The question is: Will I believe Him?  Will I trust Him no matter my age, my marital status, even if I can’t see the things to come?   I am thankful that He has revealed to me over and over His plans for my life, giving me absolutely no reason not to believe.  I have cried out to Him, and He has answered me.  I have asked Him for things, and He has given.  There’s just no excuse for having fear or anxiety about anything that is to come.  His faithfulness is not just written in scripture, it has been proven throughout history- and it has been proven personally to me.   I’m not just reading about it in the books; His presence is real and active in my daily life and in the life of believers in Jesus around the world.  He gets glory through our trust.

God spoke to me tenderly and comforted me in my fears over this past week when I read how pastor Charles Spurgeon approached his job: ‘forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat.” What a short, simple, yet radical encouragement!

When I am tempted to fear, I have been invited by grace to stop mid-fear and forecast victory!  How reassuring!  I am asking for the grace to believe Romans 6:8 that “He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him.”  The very nature of God through Jesus Christ is victory.  The ultimate defeat in this life is death.  We all will die. But when Jesus died, He was risen!  Death could not bind Him.  God defeated death by raising Jesus and making Him alive in heaven with Him.  He has promised those who believe in Him that He will also give us the victory over death. 1 Corinthians 15:56-57  says “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I’m realizing I am a heavily self-reliant person.  And it is exhausting!  It stems from pride and wishing that I were God rather than trusting in the God that is.  But how comforted I am by the promise that God wants so deeply for me to know that he cares, that he has purposeful plans for my life, and that nothing can separate me from His love! For the believer in Jesus, it is the sweetest liberation to fall in his lap like a child would collapse into His own father’s, and say in a sense,  “You know what’s best.  You said you’ve got a plan, and I believe you.  And I believe its good.  A plan to prosper me, not to harm me.  You care for me and you love me.”

This child-like surrender only leads the soul to rest.  And instead of anxious people who fear losing control or the unknowns, our life can look much more like peacefully sleeping in the arms of a merciful, slow to anger, father in heaven… who longs to put our souls at rest.  Sigh.  Already, my soul feels lighter, and that’s because through Jesus Christ we have hope.   Weather you read the bible a lot or you’ve never read it before, I encourage you to read the book of Romans chapter 8 or ask someone to help you find it and read it with you.  The apostle Paul writes to Christians about the security that we have in Jesus… that there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, that nothing in all creation could separate us from the love of Christ.  What could be better news?  Reading this chapter has brought my heart the assurance and comfort that I have needed!  I hope and pray for the same to be given to you, too!