Series: Choosing Gratitude

Hey Friends!  Guess what?  I caved and bought the book “Choosing Gratitude” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  It says “You’re journey to joy” on the cover, which at first glanced seemed a little cheesy and a bit self-help sounding, but this book is all about transformation from the heart level.  I have heard this woman speak, and I find her so refreshingly delightful and helpful!  She’s one of those women who I know is going to challenge me, and for some reason, I am up for (more like desperate for) her challenge of “choosing gratitude.”

In this season of my life, the Lord has been gently convicting me of a grumbling, complaining bent attitude.  And if I’m honest, this is the season of my life in which I have the LEAST to complain about!  Yet, daily I wake up to the war of Christ at work within me vs. my prideful, self-centered, and falsely entitled heart.  When one little thing doesn’t go my way, I can quickly act or think as though people or things owe me something and that there is nothing to be grateful for.  What a joke, huh?  Don’t I sound like real snob?  I confess… that…sometimes…ok a LOT of times… that’s what I really am!

I have been saved from the depths of Hell, yet when there are piles of dishes to do at midnight, I choose to grumble rather than rejoice for the food we got to eat, for the people we got to have over, for the running water, soap and sink we have.  I think its safe to say, I need a good smack in the face.  And, most likely, if you’re an American, you may need one too.  Not that I’m judging!  (But I am).

How can a girl who’s faced hardly any real suffering be so ungrateful? I am learning that without being proactive about seeing and acknowledging the blessings I have been given, without delighting in or at least trying to understand the command from God to “give thanks always,” I don’t stand a fat chance of living with real joy.  If I don’t fight and ask the holy spirit to do a mighty work in me, I am doomed to be stuck in patterns of entitlement, complaining, ungratefulness, bitterness, and half-hearted gratitude towards people and my loving father who has so graciously given me all things.

A lot of times in my past, I’ve read books like this purely through a self-righteous lens, meaning that as I’ve read “how to” advice, I’ve largely banked on my own personal strength and capability to “obey God.”    I’ve read books like these thinking, “Ok.  I’ll do these five steps today.  Then, everything will be better in my life.”  Well, that’s like saying “I think I can, I think I can,” when the honest truth is that I really can’t.  Without real heart transformation breathed by the Holy Spirit, books like these are just merely “behavior management,” which never has any lasting effects.

I could fake being grateful for the rest of my life, or I could wait on the Lord and trust Him to transform me into a radically grateful woman in the face of huge losses or serious suffering.  I don’t doubt this is not an overnight transformation, but more like a lifetime. One of my biggest prayers for 2010 is to trust the Lord to radically transform me into a grateful woman by the work of His holy spirit.  I use to try to muster up all my own strength in order for change to happen in my life, but I can confidently say that my strength far too often fails me.  To be a real grateful woman is something beyond myself, beyond my own willpower.  I need an intervention from God to be the kind of person who “chooses gratitude.”  Its just so much easier to complain!  Wouldn’t you agree?

So this time around, I’m completely dependent on God to help me.  Every step is His, not mine.  He has offered me a promise, and I am believing that He is really interested in the character of my heart and transforming my old ways of thinking into His ways of thinking.

If you’re reading this, would you mind offering up a prayer for me?  2 Cor. 9:8?  I’d be mighty blessed if you would!

2 Corinthians 9:8
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

He promises that He is able!  I’m real glad about that because I am not.

I’m half-way through this book, and the Lord has been faithful!  I can’t wait to tell you about the first week of reading the book and the few recent weeks in which God’s done a few 180’s on my heart.

So I’m finding out the universe doesn’t revolve around ME… and its strangely liberating.  And I have a ridiculous amount of things to be grateful for… you can only imagine how much repentance has come about from reading this book.  Gosh its good to be humbled and a little smacked in the face.

Thank you Nancy Leigh DeMoss for giving me a reality check and so much hope!

March 14, 2010 | Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

A Litte Rest in San Diego, CA

If you know my husband, you know he’s the king of great deals.  I guess that makes me the queen?  Well, I don’t know about that, but I do get reap the many benefits of his incredible financial awareness, planning and implementation of great deals into our personal lives.

After our New Year’s Conference with 500 college students, we spent four days in San Diego, CA.   After hours of planning and late nights, working about 18 hours per day and staying up way too late at MNYC, we welcomed the rest! We have decided to make this an annual trip to get away

somewhere and take time to rest, evaluate, plan, pray and spend quality time together.  It was a highlight of our marriage!

We enjoyed the blessing of free hotel points, free breakfasts and a free flight!  Can you believe that? The only thing we paid for in CA was one flight, a few romantic dinners at the nearby mall’s food court, one cab ride and one bus trip.  Though this trip afforded me many comfortable perks, guess what I enjoyed the most?  My sweet husband.  My luggage got lost for the first two days of our trip, and I didn’t even mind!  I was content to wear my jeans, Nick’s T shirts, and my tennis shoes without even having the choice to bother with make-up or cute hair.  So here I was, this frozen Minnesotan thawing out in San Diego, cribbing it up at the Hyatt San Diego, with no luggage, no car, and no plan.  It was so liberating!  It made holding my husband’s hand feel like I had everything in the world.

Eventually my luggage arrived, which was great because then I got to take advantage of the hot tub, which I would love to transport into our apartment on Huron Blvd. up in Minneapolis. Pleeeez Tony, I can just imagine begging our landlord.  I know, I know, its bigger than our living room, BUT…. oh the simple pleasures of hot water.  I really did feel like I was thawing out after flying out of -10 degree weather!

I was so incredibly exhausted from our conference, (joyfully exhausted) and Nick and I had done so much planning leading up to it that we decided to make no plans or schedule for our time in CA.  We like spontaneously exploring places we’ve never been.  So, each day we woke up when the sun rose (since their time is two behind MN)- which was beautiful, then took advantage of our free continental breakfast (which was amazing!), and then my absolute favorite part of each day: sitting under the shade by the poolside with our bibles, journals, and each other. We talked, prayed, reflected, & learned more about God and each other.  Then, we swam or ran and then walked a mile and a half to a nearby mall to eat dinner at the food-court!  Good stuff.  On our last night, we took a bus to the beach and explored.  We found this small beach-side candle-lit Italian restaurant, where we enjoyed my  favorite: spaghetti and meatballs!  Conversation was rich and deep.

Our time was focused largely on resting and praying for vision and direction from the Lord in our marriage and life together.  I highly recommend to all couples!  It was one of the sweetest and most intimate times I have had with Nick yet.  He is my absolute best friend in the world, which made our four days such a delight!  More than reaping the benefits of San Diego weather, I got to reap the benefits of being Nick’s wife.  I get the privilege of being married to a man who has been richly invested into by older and wiser Christian men in his life, who have cared about him so deeply.  Nick has become an incredible leader in our marriage and shepard of my heart.  He took the time to prepare a list of things to pray through in CA, a bible reading plan for us to do together in 2010, and a detailed life, marriage, ministry, and personal evaluation for us to discuss together.  I really feel spoiled to be his wife.  I felt so honored, nourished and cherished by the way he prepared for our marriage and spiritual reflection.  He was inspired by the way Jesus would retreat and pray.

If I had to go back to that place full of sunshine, palm tress, ocean and rest, you bet I would!! San Diego, you are too good to be true.  Thankful to be undeservedly blessed.

January 28, 2010 | Categories: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »